I had everything I'd hoped for, but I wasn't being myself. So I decided to be honest about who I was. It was strange: The people who loved me for being funny suddenly didn't like me for being... me.
曾經，我希望擁有的東西都有了，但我不是在做我自己。所以，我決定要忠於自己。奇怪的是：那些因為我很搞笑而喜愛我的人，忽然討厭做自己的⋯⋯我。
There Must Bea Purpose 一定有其意義存在 
Anyway, I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life, and the way I ended up on this path was from a very tragic event. I was maybe nineteen, and my girlfriend at the time was killed in a car accident. And I was living in a basement apartment; I had no money; I had no heat, no air; I had a mattress on the floor and the apartment was infested with fleas. And I was soul-searching—I was like, why is she suddenly gone, and there are fleas here? I don’t understand, there must be a purpose, and wouldn’t it be so convenient if we could pick up the phone and call God and ask these questions?
反正當時的我並不知道自己想做什麼，我會走上現在這條路，是因為發生了一件非常悲慘的事。那時我大概十九歲，我當時的女友在一場車禍中喪生。我那時候住在一棟公寓的地下室，我沒錢，沒有暖氣，也沒有冷氣，我只有地板上的一張床墊，飽受跳蚤侵擾。我當時在自我反省—我在想，為什麼她突然消失了，跳蚤卻一直都在？我不懂，這一切一定有它的意義存在，假如我們能打個電話給上帝，問祂這些問題，那豈不方便多了？
And I started writing, and what poured out of me was an imaginary conversation with God, which was one-sided. And I finished writing it and I looked at it and I said to myself, “I’m going do this on the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson, and I’m going be the first woman in the history of the show to be called over to sit down.”
於是我開始寫東西，將我腦海中想像與上帝的對話都寫出來，不過都是我一個人的獨角戲。寫完後，我看著這些對話，告訴自己：「我要在強尼卡森的《今夜秀》表演這段脫口秀，而且我要成為節目有史以來第一位獲邀坐下來受訪的女性。」
And several years later, I was the first woman in the history of the show, and the only woman in the history of the show to sit down, because of that phone conversation with God that I wrote. And I started this path of stand-up, and it was successful and it was great, but it was hard because I was trying to please everybody and I had this secret that I was keeping, that I was gay.
幾年後，我成為《今夜秀》節目有史以來第一位、也是唯一獲邀坐下來的女性，這都是因為我寫的那些與上帝通電話的對話。於是我開啟了單口相聲之路，而且非常成功、非常棒，不過很辛苦，因為我試著討好所有人，而且要守住自己是同性戀的秘密。
I Decided to Come Out 我決定出櫃
Then my career turned into, I got my own sitcom, and that was very successful, another level of success. And I thought, “What if they find out I’m gay? Then they’ll never watch.” And this was a long time ago—this was when we just had white presidents. But anyway, I finally decided that I was living with so much shame, and so much fear, that I just couldn’t live that way anymore, and I decided to come out and make it creative. And my character would come out at the same time.
然後我轉型了，拍了自己的情境喜劇，而且非常成功，那是我的另一個事業顛峰。於是我想：「假如他們發現我是同性戀會怎樣？他們就不會看我的節目了。」這是很久以前的事了，當時我們的總統只有白人。不論如何，我終於決定，我受夠了恥辱，受夠了恐懼，我不想再過那樣的生活，於是我決定出櫃，而且要用充滿創意的方式。我飾演的角色也會同時出櫃。
And I thought, “What’s the worst that could happen? I can lose my career.” I did. I lost my career. The show was cancelled after six years without even telling me; I read it in the paper. The phone didn’t ring for three years. I had no offers. Yet, I was getting letters from kids that almost committed suicide, but didn’t because of what I did. And I realized that I had a purpose. But I felt like I was being punished, and it was a bad time. I was angry,I was sad—and then I was offered a talk show.
我還想過：「最糟糕的結果會是什麼？我可能失去我的演藝生涯。」我確實是失去了我的演藝生涯。那個做了六年的節目突然喊停，而且還沒有事先通知我，我是看報紙才知道的。接下來三年，沒人打電話給我，也接不到工作。不過，我收到差點自殺的年輕人來信，他們因為看到我出櫃，打消了自殺的念頭。於是我意識到，我做的事是有其意義存在的。但我當時覺得自己像是受到了懲罰，那段日子很難受，我變得易怒、感到悲傷。然後，我接到了一個脫口秀的節目。
Stay True to Yourself 忠於自己
Really, when I look back on it, I wouldn’t change a thing. I mean, it was so important for me to lose everything, because I found out what the most important thing is, is to be true to yourself. So in conclusion, when I was younger I thought success was something different. I thought when I grow up, I want to be famous. I want to be a star. I want to be in the movies. When I grow up I want to see the world, drive nice cars; I want to have groupies.
說真的，回顧過去，就算人生再走一遍，我也會做同樣的事。我是說，失去一切對我來說很重要，因為我發現最重要的事，是忠於自己。總結來說，我年輕時，我所認為的成功跟現在是有點不一樣的。當時我想，等我長大後，我要出名，我要成為明星，我要演電影；等我長大後，我想要看看這個世界，開名車，我想要有粉絲。
But my idea of success is different today. And as you grow, you’ll realize the definition of success changes. For many of you, today, success is being able to hold down 20 shots of tequila. For me, the most important thing in your life is to live your life with integrity and not to give in to peer pressure and try to be something that you’re not, to live your life as an honest and compassionate person, to contribute in some way. So to conclude my conclusion, follow your passion, stay true to yourself.
但我現在對於成功的想法不一樣了。當你年紀漸長，你會發現對成功的定義會改變。現在對你們許多人而言，成功是可以乾掉二十杯龍舌蘭。對我來說，人生中最重要的事，是活出真誠，不要因為同儕的壓力而屈服，也不要試著變成別人；帶著悲憫情懷活出坦率的人生，在某些方面做出貢獻。所以，總結一下我的結論，就是追隨自己的熱情，忠於自己。
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